Writing your own wedding vows is one of the most personal and heartfelt ways to express your love on your big day. But let’s be honest, it can also feel like a daunting task. How do you sum up all your feelings, promises, and those all-important inside jokes into just a few minutes in a way that feels sincere and meaningful? Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. Here’s a simple guide to help you craft vows that are meaningful, memorable, and totally you.
1. Give yourself plenty of time!
You'll have plenty to do in the lead-up to your big day, and the last thing you want is to be stuck behind a laptop instead of soaking up the excitement. That’s why I always recommend starting your vows well in advance - a few weeks (or even months!) before the wedding. Giving yourself time and space will help you do them justice. Once you've written them, step away for a few days and revisit them with fresh eyes. Trust me, you'll be glad you didn’t leave it until the last minute!
2. Start with the Why
Before you put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), take a moment to reflect. Why do you love this person? What makes your relationship special? What promises do you want to make for your future together? And while you're at it, what drives you up the wall about them, or makes you laugh out loud! Jot down anything that comes to mind - this will serve as the foundation for your vows.
3. Keep It Personal
This isn’t the time for generic Hallmark sentiments. Use your own words and experiences. Think about the little quirks you love, the adventures you’ve shared, and the ways your partner has changed your life. Personal stories can make vows unforgettable.
4. Make Some Promises
At their core, vows are about commitment. What do you promise to your partner? To always make them a cup of tea in the morning? To laugh at their terrible puns? To tolerate their ridiculous obsession with Bridgerton? To stand by them, no matter what? Mix in a few lighthearted promises alongside the serious ones - it keeps things balanced and authentic.
5. Find the Right Tone
Your vows should sound like you. If you’re naturally poetic, go for it. If you’re more of a straight-to-the-point person, keep it simple. And if humor is your love language, don’t be afraid to add a little wit - just make sure it’s still heartfelt.
6. Keep It Concise
Aim for about a minute or two. You want your vows to be powerful, not an epic novel. Short, sweet, and meaningful is the way to go. It can be sensible to agree on an approximate length of time with your partner so that your vows reflect one another.
7. Practice (But Not Too Much!)
Once you’ve written your vows, read them aloud. This helps with flow and ensures they sound natural. But don’t over-rehearse...some spontaneity on the day will keep the emotion fresh.
8. Write Them Down
Even if you think you’ll have them memorised, nerves can do funny things. Bring a neatly written or printed copy with you. (I as your celebrant will also bring a copy, but sometimes it's reassuring to have your own version to hand).
9. Enjoy the Moment
At the end of the day, your vows are for you and your partner. Take a deep breath, look into their eyes, and speak from the heart. That’s what truly matters.
Need some inspiration? Check out these real-life vow examples to spark your creativity!
Happy vow writing! And remember, there ’s no right or wrong way to say I love you!
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